Sipher's profile╅┅忍着痛奔跑,带着泪微笑┅╆PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
February 11 six months anniversarysix months, half year already passed
i know it's not a long time at all for a stable realationship but i still feel i've reached a milestone for me ,for us falling in love is a easy case, but what comes next is the diffcult part for most of us to deal with no one is borned to share everything in common and no stains even for myself i m sort of thinking that we r not the perfect couple in the world ,but we r the perfect match for each other i m thinking as that now,still. but things r get chanlleged every step it keep warning me this is a realistic world, not a fairy tale even though i know it since the very beginning, may be i m just realize now everything has a price,u get it,u paid for it sometime, i don't feel well of living what i live now people around get their friend cycle more and more bigger,experiences more and more as well but i m still the same one since everything has begun i know the price, i know there is always fairness in the world somehow just the so-called lack of balance attitude three things u need to be done to manage ur realtionship:compromise,trust,and understanding that's always easy to say only those who spent the lovely and bitter time with their beloved ones are capable of realizing them my new semester begins at this week which means my two whole months summer holiday officially ended.
it seems gonna be much more struggle than last semester
i wish it all gonna ends well
January 13 2008-2009time has past....went from 2008 to 2009, a new year has came, the old year has been a history.
dream is existed for being come ture... what if it can't be real at last...so that's what we called a forseeable misery...
i can't deny the obvious reality behind my lovely dream...
so, shall we live in a life that always doubt for what the fate would bring for us at last...or just simply enjoy the happiness now, regardless of the end.
that 's easy to call ha~
my little old laptop came to life at christmas day as a miracle...haha~
i got a chance to work in BF's cafe restaurant until febrary.
Although the paid not very well and the content of the job is hard to be satisfied and enjoyed with, better than nothing.
that's enough better~i m satisfied, i really am.
next week come by my 21st birthday~ look forward to it~
keep going with my simple life~
December 08 my little old laptop...The first time went to DFO with u , and u bought me two coats and one converse, then my little dear decoration on my hair turns out gone......unconscious....
Yesterday, u got me a new sumsung mp3 as a christmas gift , after we got home, my little dear old laptop gone.... with the water covered its bottom...
every time, when i got something memorable from you , i have to give up some other my own blongings to do sort of trade , is that just coincidence?
what is the the fate meant to be?
is that a warning from God to let me walk away from this realationship?
or a little risky game to test my heart?
anyway, i am so damn into u....
we have no any fight during these four months
actually, i still wonder what will be the trigger to end this relationship,
anyway, i ll still working hard on our relationshils
luckily, hope there is an happy end to wait to see me~
December 03 recall and look forward....It is Dec. now at here, the same time in last year,
one was in so-called winter while the other one is in summer
one was in the northern hemisphere while the other is in the southern hemisphere
one was just 2-hour flight from home while the other is 11-hour flight
one was just two girls stay in the dormitory where it was 13 girls stayed during semesters , while the other is not just two
i am not that kind of people who like adventurous life without a stable life style
however, i survived at last though those obstacles and challenges
so , should i say life is tough or i am tough or both?
some memories suddenly recalled , remind me the past no matter it is bitter or sweet
being jealous and unbalance, which are the human's greatest flaws, so do i
first semester is end, time runs to the long two-month summer holiday
still struggling and looking for the job
i believe God has his plan for each other , and God won't abondan his children.
less compliants ,more actions
keep moving on...
life is not easy at anywhere.
thanks for being friends with ur guys in the new place,
lina, jiwon, fiona, bingbing...
especial thankfulness to my big dear baby~~!
Love u all~~~
October 12 such a shameful holiday....It's been two weeks for the mid-break.
and it's a big shame for me to conclude it as nothing rewarded
no job get yet , not finish assessment yet
nothing is done
as people like me , not worth any break
it's totally a waste of time
for god sake, for my loved ones
holiday like this NEVER EVER HAPPEN.....
i am just an useless one who always screw up things...
August 24 we belong together"your beloved one will always love you...
for him...there is certainly no harms, but cares....
there is certainly no worries, but happiness...
how he has wished the wound have been planted in his heart rather than his dear ones....
he felt the oneness with you....he just realized the pain should indeed be shared between you and him rather than you alone....
simply because you are no longer just belonging to yourself..and he's no longer just belonging to himself...
"we belong to each other!".....
we are as one now..
the one to share both our sadness and happiness....the one to heal the planted wound together...
and at the end of the road..we would look back with a big smile.....
coz there is nothing left to regret or miss...
we as one will still be together... "
one comment that i saw on other's blog, i felt it is nice and recorded it
and now it is time for me to take it out for my own life
i met u and falling in love with u
all of this story is a beautiful miracle that written by the holy God
when the happiness spread in my life, i realize that sadness will follow behind
no more to say, just make me deep into the happiness now
and let the following come by it's turn
love is not enough to express my felling towards u now
just wanna u be happy ,and together, we live our lives.
we belong together.and wish for forever
July 23 one week...it has been one week since i came here,
it was a lucky and right way at first , and i became think i have changed my life into a bright way...
but it was part of my misfeeling ...
although after these things happened to me ,the situation was still not so bad as i imagined before...
just it is not lucky ,it is right , as my life alway as ...
always passing by someone's life
and let others passing by my life with one piece of bitter and sweet memory left
i really don't wanna feel this way once more
and i do know how to avoid this happen again,
even though, it still always happen ....
the lifestyle is a little bit overload for me ...
but now ,the course just began and i don't have part time yet
i strongly worry abt the future, with the assignments and part time , will i still be ok for that///
June 30 be about to set up...almost everything is on the right way now
get the offer ,and get the visa
the luggage is almost done, approximately 60 kilograms in total
coz a long time didn't talk in English, i feel a little bit wordless
i am waiting with a little excitement and nervous
i am also waiting the new suffering journey , and all of the challenges may happen to me
God bless!
No more , just do my best for preparing.
May 10 it's passacturally, it was almost 1 month before
i knew the ielts's result
i was still so nervous and worried abt that one minute before the result appeared
it was PASS~~OVER ROLL : 6~~
thanks to the luck and skill,and above all, the stress i've never felt..
because of that terrible stress , i could put 80% ENERGY into the reviewing~
it was a nice Turning point in my hopeless life...
the result is like a warm shine spread in my life, and give me the happiness felling which i've a long time didn't touch it...
i cried again, not because of sad, it's because of the success which i had been stuggleed for it in such a long time..
there is still sth i am good at,
there is also sth better could be made by myself..
i am not useless people...
thanks for all the suffering that i had been felt before..
i am myself, and i begin believe i can make a nice future ......
i dont know why i just wanna say:
thanks~~~ March 31 last week...This the last week before IELTS...
acturally it's five days before the test..
i feel so nevous now...
i a;ways think about some terrible things happened during the test....
i cannot arrive the test place on time or i cannot finishi al the questions or i am too nervous to do the listening......
all of worries are like nightmares which are killing me in the days and nights...
i have no words to say exactly...
just do as usual...
as usual useless= pray...
PRAY.....
6 IS OK!
i am not looking forward to higher ,just 6 ,it's enough to satisfy...
please........
March 07 one more try....even though i know i got any confidence in such exams..
but it is always like this ,
you have to do that ,nomatter how exhausted you are...
acturally,
i really feel afraid of these things...
not only nevous, it's really scaring...
though it's said i can chage the scare into your motivation...
but if failed again this time..
i don't know what should i do...
do i really have the meaning to be existed in this world...
February 28 what is my lifemy life always like this
failed again and again
"SORRY! YOUR APPLICATION FAILED THIS TIME "
always like this
i cannot forget this is my life
fill with failure
never success
no any destination come ture ,never
i am a loser in any ways from the time i was born
get rid of everything=suicide ,only this way can get me out of this fail life
cannot be changed, the origin of my life ,the fate of my life:
FAILURE
fucking everything !!!!!
February 27 excited and worriedtomorrow 1 pm.
the result will come out...
although i told everyone it's impossible for me to pass this time..
to be honest ,
may be i am the person that take on the big dream...
i donnot dare to check the result when everyone is checking in the resource room....
let me see my result when there is nobody...
is this the real time for me to pick up a little confidence now....
imagination,speculation ...don't make sense...
i just believe when i see the computer screen ....and the print words..
GOD BLESS ME !!!
February 17 wait .....wait for the result with an anxious heart
i don't wanna to guess and think about the result
i wanna pass ,of course
but things always not decided by your thought
the more you wish the success ,the more you will be disappointed...
wait....
anxious waitting ....
quiet waitting....
just wait.....
January 20 i so wantedi so wanted.
i so wanted to be in your heart...
not to be so empty inside...
time has gone so fast ...
all i did is to find the reasons why......
perhaps i still believe i can find it
good night!
sweet dream..... November 04 at lastit seems that all in the end......
being alone myself, which seems isn't a bad thing
take my time, it's all has a gorgeus circle end,
as time goes on.....
at last....
i'm just one person all the time......
i have got used to that......
October 05 just feeling......you are not handsome......
you are not the style i like......
you are , i don't know anything about you....
i just realize that the feeling i get from you .....
make me so comfortable....
let me feel so safe......
may be i still not forget the past....
the uncomplete past...
how to describe....it 's difficult in words...
may be i just want it to be circled.
may be that will be another non-result....
acturally i don't care....
i was disapponited times.....
September 12 that love let you knowyour beloved one will always love you...
for him...there is certainly no harms, but cares....
there is certainly no worries, but happiness...
how he has wished the wound have been planted in his heart rather than his dear ones....
he felt the oneness with you....he just realized the pain should indeed be shared between you and him rather than you alone....
simply because you are no longer just belonging to yourself..and he's no longer just belonging to himself...
"we belong to each other!".....
we are as one now..
the one to share both our sadness and happiness....the one to heal the planted wound together...
and at the end of the road..we would look back with a big smile.....
coz there is nothing left to regret or miss...
we as one will still be together...
August 16 Final Justice ...So far ,not too long time till the result come out...... there are three directions in front of me...... these directions which can almost decide my last life..... and each of them could leads to an totally opposite colloge life..... i don't really realize the real and pritical way of each life in all.... and , last,at the time....and after... wait will be the only uesful thing..... and don't give up practise wait for the final justice ...... good luck for myself ! July 19 is there a miracle exist....i recived a unbelievable letter yesterday.....
the school i applicant sent me a interview letter......asked me to take the interview......
i almost thought it is impossble to get into the school before......
the worse score i take one month ago made almost everything which i can get ,now,impossble......
and,i almost give up myself...to finish my college in the place where i have lived for near upon 20 years.....
then,
now,
a miracle has happen.....
though it just a beginning,and may be i will lost the chance at last .....
this is still an unbelievable turning for me.....for my whole family....
let me make it ok......
nomatter what will happen next......
this letter give my life a warm shine that i haven't feel for a long time....
is there a miracle exist......
may be yes,may be no,
but i get an encouragement from it ,that's true,that' enough.......
|
|
|
